2020欧洲杯对阵图

The Inseide Dope, by Bob Seidenstein

Wheel of misfortune

The one, and perhaps only, vice I never indulged in is gambling. On the simplest level, I just don’t understand games of chance. And when I say I don’t understand them, I mean I don’t understand them at all. And it’s not like I haven’t tried. Take cards, for example. At various ...

Behind the curve

2020欧洲杯对阵图An issue that keeps popping up, both on the internet and in conversation, is something that 50 years ago was no issue at all. It is, should cursive writing be taught in our schools? Whether the response is a yea or nay seems to break down by age: Older peeps think it bloody well should be ...

Keep on truckin’

From the depths of my sleep, I snapped awake so violently Purrsia the cat leaped off the bed and retreated to the safety of the hall. “Winter Carnival!” I gasped. I looked at the clock — 0315. What had just happened? My subconscious had just given me a wake-up call, reminding ...

Farewell, Post Office Pharmacy

When I answered the phone, it was Kookie on the other end. “Whatta ya know about the Post Office Pharmacy closing?” she said. “What?” I said. “The Post Office Pharmacy’s not closing.” “It’s not?” “No,” I said. “At least I don’t think so. I was in there ...

A midnight snack for thought

Alright, so I was already in a crappy mood. I’d graciously offered to make my legendary creamy vegetable soup for my friends’ dinner, but I’d also indulged in my legendary procrastination, so I was way behind in my food prep. Actually, I hadn’t fallen behind — I hadn’t done a ...

Sweets for the sweet, so have a pill …

2020欧洲杯对阵图In high school I had two great French teachers, Mrs. Godson and Mrs. Klein — oops, I mean, Madame Godson et Madame Klein. As a result of their efforts, I’ve been able to navigate my way through French-speaking areas over half the world (not including Quebec, since I’m not sure what ...

The Thanksgiving Turkey

You might think that after decades of working at a college that had a quality chef training program, I’d have acquired at least a basic understanding of Things Gourmet. But nothing could be further from the truth. My knowledge of the fine points of haute cuisine doesn’t go beyond The Big ...

Parallel parking in a parallel universe

2020欧洲杯对阵图It was fun running into Deb Mueller last week, even though I almost did it literally. At first, I didn’t know it was Deb. But that should have made any difference, since I try not to run over strangers as hard as I try not to flatten friends. Besides, honestly, if I’d smushed Deb, it ...

The Dope of the hour, give or take

It seems one of today’s hottest businesses is motivational speakers. No matter what you need motivation for, there’s at least a dozen speakers for it. From walking a tightrope to writing a novel, from losing weight to gaining self-esteem, from embracing sobriety to embracing your ...

Tiles and smiles

Having been a compulsive reader all my life, I always have a book or two on me. That way, during lulls in my inaction, I’ve got some form of entertainment to turn to. Of late, however, I started wondering what besides books and mags could provide me with amusement. My cellphone was ...

A Dope of the cloth

I first heard the term “Caveat emptor” when I was in my mid-teens. It’s an ancient Latin phrase that means “Let the buyer beware,” and it seemed a fine rule for the marketplace. That was then. For today’s shopping we need a phrase that’s less exotic but much more appropriate. ...

Clippedtoemania

2020欧洲杯对阵图You want to know what bugs the bejammers out of me? It’s people my age (73 on Jan. 13 — Pendelton Large, if you would) whining about aging. I mean, what do they want? NOT to age? Because, let’s face it, bubbeleh, there’s only one way that can happen naturally. And if it hasn’t ...

The myth of ‘new and improved’

2020欧洲杯对阵图I never forgot those little rubber oval coin purses from my Gilded Youth. They took up almost no room in my pocket, held my coins securely and lasted forever. I figured they were as long gone as other ’50s mainstays like church keys, mechanical watches and Prince Albert in the can. So imagine ...

Fifteen pounds of fur, froth and freakout

As a wee tyke, if I learned nothing else, I learned this: I would never, ever, upon pain of flogging, act out in a doctor’s office. There was a good reason for this — my father was a doctor. So while my mother demanded we always behave well, she was absolutely fiendish about our behavior ...

In for a groszy, in for a zloty

2020欧洲杯对阵图 Until fairly recently, I’d been a letter writer my whole life. When I say “my whole life,” that’s not an exaggeration. In grade school I had pen pals, and as soon as I learned to print, I wrote thank-you notes. Granted, the thank-you notes were written under both duress and my ...

Lessons from the classroom of life

As a kid, I knew one thing for sure: All adults were right. If a grown-up said it, they knew it, and it was gospel. By my teens, compulsive reader that I was, I realized that not only were all adults not always right, but a lot of them were poorly informed, and another bunch were total ...

A serpentine tale

2020欧洲杯对阵图It’s obvious that writing, in any meaningful sense, is dying out. Likewise, the art of conversation is headed in the same direction — both doomed to the same fate as the carrier pigeon, woolly mammoth and great auk. Since our primary mode of communication is the cellphone, and its ...

The root of all goodness

While I drink soft drinks, I cannot be considered a “soda drinker.” If I average a soda a month, I’d be surprised. I wasn’t always like that. In my gilded youth my consumption of anything sugar-laced was prodigious and promiscuous. Candy, soda, baked goods, ice cream — you name it, ...

The Promised Land’s broken promise

From the time I was hatched, I knew what Mount Pisgah was. It was My Home Town’s local ski slope. What else could it be? Well, as I was to learn, long after my hatching, it was a lot more. In the Old Testament, Mount Pisgah was the peak from which Moses got to see the Promised Land. And ...

What’s in a name?

Since I’m an unabashed Saranac Lake chauvinist, there’s no doubt what’s my favorite town. But what’s my second favorite? I’ve never been secretive about that either, but in case you didn’t know, it’s Tupper Lake. Why Tupper? Good question. I have a raft of reasons, but ...